TULA'S WORLD

MY SEDUCTION STYLE

2006-03-29T14:51:00.000-05:00

Your Seduction Style: Siren / Rake

You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many.

The minute you meet anyone, you can make the crave you almost immediately.

You give others the chance to lose control with you... spiraling into carnal bliss.

A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

MARK THIS DATE...I GOT MY FIRST RAVE REVIEW!

2006-02-03T16:07:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

I had a very strange experience tonight...in fact I'm still in the midst of it right now so you'll have to forgive me if I'm a bit incoherent.I got my first RAVE review.So far the reviews I have gotten for "Lipstick" have been pretty good. I got one really crappy one, but hey, that's to be expected. I found one I hadn't seen tonight on Euro Reviews. Now I've developed my thick skin so that I deal withreviews, so I surf through the site, and finally get to my review. This is what it said...

Review: Lipstick and Other Stories by Petula Caesar"Lipstick and other stories is a brilliant collection of erotic fiction. There’s a story to satisfy any man or woman’s sexual appetite. Each story is well thought out and is delivered superbly. The stories that are told are short and sweet, simply put. Petula Caesar has written a book that can serve as an example for how to write an erotic anthology. For a sizzling hot collection of stories to heat up those cold winter nights, pick up this book today. You may learn a thing or two that interests you."

I actually started to tremble. I have no idea why. None. My hands started to shake uncontrollably, and I actually grabbed my mouth to contain the scream that was on its way out. Didn't want to wake my kids. I stood up and ran through my house making strange little sounds that probably would have been screams if I had been home alone. I added the review to my site, and now I'm trying to calm down. You can check it out at http://euroreviews.eu.funpic.de/bookdetails.php?book_id=9.

I am soooo goofy!

Goodnite all! Stay in the light, and much love to ya,
Tula

A QUICK COMMERCIAL...CHECK OUT MY REVIEWS!

2006-01-30T16:37:00.000-05:00

Hello all:

To read some reviews of my book "Lipstick and Other Stories", you can go tohttp://www.tulabooks.com/REVIEWS.htm on my website and check out what Romance Divas, Just Erotic Romance Reviews and Fallen Angel Reviews had to say (and I didn't even pay them to say it)!

Stay in the light,

Tula

HMMMMM...

2006-01-28T22:30:00.000-05:00

Brought to you, as always, by http://www.tulabooks.com.

Let's see, where do I begin?

It's been a bit since I've blogged...I have no excuse but laziness. I'm not sure what I want to blog about tonight, so I guess I'll just be writing until something hits me.

I thought maybe I would start blogging about more important or more meaningful things like global warming or the state of race relations in the US compared to countries in Europe, or something like that. But I decided against it. So for now, this will just continue to be the meanderings of my wandering mind. One good thing is that I will have my tax return very soon, which means I can buy a car to replace my van. Not having a car has truly been a pain in the butt, but I can finally see the light at the end of the carless tunnel, and I am truly grateful. I've already started shopping for it and I will be buying it outright.

As for the book, well, I continue to promote it in any and every way I can. I've recently entered some literary fiction writing contests and I've been submitting my work in other places, attempting to get it published. I've submitted to several "Best of Erotica..." anthologies, etc., trying to see if maybe I can get published. I'll know about those in the upcoming weeks...if I could manage to crack even one of them I would be soooo thrilled. I don't have a lot to submit right now because I can only submit writing that has been previously published, but my contract with Phaze prohibits me from publishing anything from my current book until June 2008. So that only really leaves my Desdmona stuff available for possible publication in anthologies. That is another reason why I need to get more stuff published this year so that I'll have more options next year when I submit work to these people.

I'll be spending my next few weeks writing, waiting to hear if any of my submissions made the cut, and just promoting the hell outta my book. I'm planning to start on the next one in March.

I think that's it for now...

Stay in the light,
Tula

MIC LIFE IS OUT!

2006-01-12T19:28:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all... as usual, brought to you by http://www.tulabooks.com. And also check out http://www.miclifemagazine.com.

Today's blog is about perspective. But first an annoucement...

THE JANUARY/FEBRUARY ISSUE OF MIC LIFE IS OUT! I have copies, Fredlocks has copies, we are distributing them around town, so you can finally get the latest edition which features my article about SUGABEAR! He's a poet, he's a fashion designer, he's nasty and I love him!

Copies of MIC LIFE MAGAZINE will be at The 5 Seasons at Warm Wednesdays this week, so you can get them there. The March/April issue of Mic Life will feature my interview with Archie the Messenger, and I'm really looking forward to interviewing him.

Now, about perspective...

Several years ago before I became this "erotica writer", I wrote poetry. I wrote a great deal of poetry, and had even started reading a little in a few of the smaller open mics here in town. I got a piece published in a local literary magazine, and that magazine asked me to perform at Artscape, which is a major arts festival in the city. The man I was seeing at the time has a problem with it. The night before my performance he asked me "why do you insist on making a spectacle of yourself"? Now instead of slapping the taste out of his mouth, after my performance that next day, I stopped writing poetry. I loved him you see, and I thought we were trying to build something together. So I stopped writing, stopped going to the venues. That lasted about 2 years. Finally I ended the madness, broke up with him and started writing again about a year and a half ago, mostly short stories, but still a little poetry. I started going to the poetry spots again. But my confidence was gone, and I found it hard to put myself out there again. But through a number of strange interconnected twists of fate, once I got back on the scene I involved myself in some projects with some cool people (the play Deception and Denial, Mic Life Magazine, doing PR work for various poets, etc.). The projects have done pretty well, I got to make connections with very talented folks, and now I have become a bit of a regular on the local poetry scene...not as an artist but just someone who seems to always be around, to know a lot of folks, and now as someone who writes for Mic Life. When I go to the venues now I know many of the poets. That also means I know how some of them are. And honestly, some of them are some of the most egotistical people I have ever met. I think back to the days when I was just a person in the audience at a venue, and I was able to watch and listen to the poets and appreciate their craft. Now that I'm "in the know" a bit, I go to a spot and this one is asking me about that one, or someone wants to know why someone is avoiding them, or someone from the audience wants me to hook them up with someone, someone wants me to introduce them to someone, or they want free CDs or chapbooks, this poet wants to know why they weren't featured in "Mic Life" or why their CD didn't make the top 10 list...its such a different experience for me now, and its hard sometimes to just listen to the poets. So for the next few weeks/months, I am going to make an effort to try to disconnect myself from the 'business' side and the 'personality' side of poetry whenever I can, and enjoy spoken word like I used to.

That's it for now...shout out to spoken word artists everywhere!

Stay in the light,
Tula

WHAT I'M WRITING/CATCHING UP!

2006-01-10T04:33:00.000-05:00

THIS BLOG ENTRY IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY http://www.tulabooks.com.
A NEW YEAR - A NEW LOOK!

If I get one more e-mail reminding me I haven't blogged in nearly two weeks I'll scream. So I'm blogging now. I guess I should appreciate that someone actually reads this thing and bothers to comment when its not updated. It's just that I've been really busy with a lot of projects, and once I finish all of that writing, I can't seem to work up the strength to blog. But since I know I should, I will. I think we'll blog by project tonight...

MIC LIFE MAGAZINE (www.miclifemagazine.com) - My first interview for Mic Life is coming out in the Jan/Feb issue (or it may be out already, I haven't talked to Fred to see if its been distributed yet). I interviewed a local poet/fashion designer named Shugabear. It was a lot of fun. I've got to catch up with Fred so I can get copies. He and I had talked about trying to interview Archie the Messenger for the next issue, so we need to work out the details. Fred gave me prime ad space in the magazine this time, so I put a link to the magazine's web site in some prominent places on my site. Gotta look out for the people that look out for you, ya know?

DESDEMONA.COM - One of my favorite erotica writing websites is this one...its one of the few I regularly frequent. I got an honorable mention last year in their Short Story Contest and I truly believe I was robbed. They're having a Stiletto Flash contest this year. A Flash is a very short story, no more than 500 words and often fewer words than that...and you still have to develop plot, characters, be descriptive, and all that. I don't think I do flash fiction well, so I had no intention of entering. But I did. I went to the site where some of the potential entrants had posted their flash pieces for critiquing, and after I read them I thought, "I can do better than that!" So I did, and sent in my entry earlier today. It's called "My First Stilettos"...it is not particularly original, but it is sexy, funny, and has a sweetness to it that I think makes up for some of its other faults. AND its 498 words.

CARAMEL FLAVA - I'm submitting a short story to Zane for her next anthology, 'Caramel Flava.' One of the principals in your story has to be of Latino descent, and the piece has to be 3000-5000 words. I'm working on a piece now that is pretty good, but its hovering around the 4,300 word mark and I can't seem to get a good ending going for it. I've got until February 14th though, and hopefully I'll come up with something before then. Even as it stands its a pretty good work, but once I tighten up the ending it will be hot fiyah! I've read the authors that Zane likes and truth be told, most of them suck, so if any of them are submitting to CF and there is any justice in the literary world, I've got a dead lock on this one.

GLIMMERTRAIN - I have always liked Glimmer Train as literary magazines go (New Millenium is pretty cool too, I have a few of their books). I entered a short story in one of GT's contests three years ago. I realized why it didn't win once I read some of the winners. I am entering again this year. I have been slaving over my submission, which is called "The Tradeoff" for weeks now, trying to make it perfect. Fred has been a big help with it. It is erotica, and I am concerned that because it is erotica, my chances are not as good as they would be if I submitted something else, though GT says they're open to all genres. "The Tradeoff" deals with infidelity in a marriage. I think its good and erotic in a dark, troubling kind of way, and that kind of thing usually goes over well in literary fiction. I'm sending it off to GT later today, and we'll see what happens. I'll know something by mid-April.

SUSIE BRIGHT BEST OF AMERICAN EROTICA '07 - I submitted two stories for possible inclusion in this collection. I honestly don't know if they'll make it or not. This collection is one of the more popular ones, so I know the best of the best will be submitting. So if I get rejected on this one, I really won't complain too much. It'll just let me know my writing isn't quite there yet. But if one of them made it....wow! It would be such a feather in my erotic cap, especially so early in my writing career. I'll know something by April.

RAWSISTAZ REVIEWERS - This site, www.rawsistaz.com, is one of the premier review sites for African-American writers, both fiction and non-fiction. A good review from them would be soooo cool. Now I'd love to say I'm pretty sure I'll get a good review, but you never know with them. The writing world is a vey cliquish one (more on that another day), and as a Jenny-Come-Lately who literally dropped out of the sky into the erotica world, I guess some folks will feel I should pay my dues, and don't deserve props right out of the gate. And personally I feel anyone who likes Zane should LOVE any words I put to the page. But we'll see...I should have a review from them by the end of February.

So see, I really have been busy. But I promise I'll do better about keeping in touch.

Check out the website...I re-did it for the New Year.

Stay in the light,
Tula

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

2005-12-31T22:27:00.000-05:00

This blog entry brought to you by http://www.tulabooks.com.

Yeah, I know its been awhile. But I haven't been feeling well. Even now I have a cold that is absolutely kicking my ass. But I wanted to make sue I at least made a Happy New Year entry in my blog.

I'm not really a huge resolution maker, but there are two things I MUST attend to in 2006...my book and my health. I really haven't been feeling well lately--been having a lot of unexplained aches and pains, and I'm certainly not getting any younger. I am going to make a doctor's appointment next week, need to have an annual exam and a mammogram and all that good stuff. And as far as the book goes, I really are going to have to be on my grind once I get a car. I have to be absolutely shameless about promoting it...and I do mean shameless. I have to become like the spoken word artists I see when I'm out and about, when you ask them how they are the first thing they say is "I got a new CD out." Every open mic venue I can hit between here, VA and NY, and then I need to start writing on some new stuff, I just need to get to work for real. And I gotta update the website for Valentine's Day and try to take some new pictures with LaKaye.

I got my first BAD REVIEW yesterday from Coffee Time Romance. I was soooo pissed. When I first read it I really started to write the reviewer a nasty email. Now don't get me wrong, not all my reviews have been good ones, but they have been even handed and fair, and I could say I felt the criticisms were fair and resonable. This lady just trashed my book. Oh I was hot...inches away from emailing her an ass kicking. She reviews for a site that primarily does romances, and even before my book went out to romance reviewers I had asked the promo person for my publisher if my book should go to them, because I don't write romance by any stretch of the imagination. A lot of sites that review romance won't even read erotica, which I certainly understand and respect. But this lady clearly didn't get my writing, didn't really understand what I was doing, her complaints about my work are what makes short story writing what it is. I think the thing I mostly took issue with was that she claimed my depictions were clinical and not sensual at all. Now that is just bullshyt. Granted they are not the the flowery, overly descriptive, over the top text that you tend to get in romance books, so if that's your thing, what I write is not for you. Once I'm a literary superstar I'll drop her a line.

Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ONE AND ALL...MAKE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE IN 2006!

GETTING DEEP ON A SUNDAY MORNING...

2005-12-18T06:27:00.000-05:00

As always, this blog is brought to you by http://www.tulabooks.com.

THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE LONELY WOMEN OUT THERE HOPING TO FIND 'THE ONE"...

I woke up at 5:30 a.m. today. Not exactly sure why...I didn't go to bed especially early. It was like I just couldn't sleep anymore. So I came to the computer planning to write. I've got a bunch of story ideas swirling around in my head and I need to get them out. But I guess they're not through marinating in my head yet, because they haven't emerged. I call this part of my writing process my "labor pains".

I just had an IM conversation with a guy I know. Never met him personally, he was always one of my chat buddies that I talked to from time to time offline. He would call occasionally out of the blue, we'd talk, and I wouldn't hear from him for another 6 months or more. I never quite understood what it was about...he never really asked me out, or made any real overtures to me. He would just call like 2-4 times a year, we'd talk for an hour or two, and that was it. He always gave me his number, told me to call, told me if I was ever in the area (he was inGeorgia), I should look him up. But I never called. I mean, honestly, I didn't think that was enough for me to try to initiate anything with him. Why would I call a man who could only remember to call me twice a year?

Anyway, its just as well because he is engaged to someone else now, and lives in Philly with her. He IM'd me this morning to congratulate me on the book, and said "if you're ever in Philly, we should do lunch." Now maybe it's because I'm single, but I think at least 90% of the invitations I get from men are implied invitations to have sex...or at the very least the presentation of that possibility. To me it means, "I'd like to spend a bit of time with you, enjoy your company, and hopefully maybe if I don't say anything stupid and all goes well we'll have sex." I told him I didn't think that was a good idea and he said what men always say, "Well, it's only lunch." I've heard that one before...it's basically the approach of a man who can't openly ask you for a date for whatever reason. Lunch can still be presented as a harmless innocent social activity, but you do get a chance to try your hand. Now I'm not saying this to say I'm so beautiful and wonderful that a man cannot have a meal with me without wanting to be with me...what I am saying is why even risk it? He goes on to say he's very much in love with his fiancee, would never do anything to jeopardize that, etc. Now I'm the first to admit I'm a cynic, so I told him that I'm sure he meant that, but many people cheated on people they cared about. Again, not that I'm Halle Berry but, hey...

Anyway he went on to say he loved his finacee, etc etc etc. And he seemed to mean it. He kept saying that one day I'd find a man who would be "the one" also. I told him I honestly didn't think I would at this point. I am too much of a cynic. Too much has happened to me. I've been crushed too many times. And I'm even past being bitter about it, but I recognize I'm not willing to put myself out there like that anymore. He said that I was a terrific woman and some man would see that, and then I had to break down the most important thing I need from a man.

From my observation, men lack the ability to choose a woman and stick to that decision. They want to keep their options open...every single one of them, even if they conflict with each other. I want to be a man's choice...his conscious decision. I want a man to say to himself, and then to me, "I've given it a great deal of thought and consideration, and I choose to be with you. I like my life better with you in it than with you not in it. I don't want her, or her, or even her...I want you. Therefore I will do whatever I must do to be with you and make you happy, and make myself happy in the process."

But men don't do that. They dib and dab, one foot in a committed relationship, the other in the single life. Taking advantage of every sexual opportunity they can, every situation they can. Trying to multitask and have it all. Fully recognizing that I am wonderful, beautiful, terriffic, talented, fun to be around, intelligent, a great conversationalist, a great cook, wonderful in bed, unselfish, considerate, on and on and on, but stupid enough to think that women like me grow on trees or something and that of course I'll be around after they've been around the world and back having their fun. For the first time in my life I fully see and feel my worth, and I'm just not willing to settle for a man who doesn't. Any man foolish enough to not recognize what I bring to the table and snap me up isn't worthy of me...and I'm not saying that to be arrogant. It is really how I feel at this point. I'm not willing to take myself through a lot of changes, to put myself in the position of being with a man who wants to be with me, but wants to be single too just in case, or just to make sure, or just because he doesn't want to feel like I've whipped him, or who wants to just let me know I haven't completely 'got' him when chances are I do, always have, and always will to some degree. And I'm not saying being with me would be wonderful 100% of the time, because that's not true of anyone. But it is wonderful more often than it is horrible...at minimum a 51-49% split...LOL.

But knowing your worth can be lonely. It can be difficult. You're not willing to call that half-assed brotha at 3 am for some quick sex, even though your body is craving the touch of a man. You find yourself unwilling to be with someone who can't see all your gloriousness, no matter how much you want some company. You can't seem to work up the desire to present yourself to a man who won't acknowledge how incredible you are on a regular basis. You don't want to waste your time with someone who won't magnify your beauty. You don't even want to argue about it or try to convince him of how special you are and what a fool he is. You just quietly recognize and acknowledge that he can't really see what he has, shake your head, feel sorry for him, and keep it moving because you know he'll be back and you'll be long gone and any chance you could have had will be gone too. And that's where I am now. I can't do it. I get horny as hell at night...sometimes it even wakes me up out of my sleep, but when I think about making a call something stops me. I ask myself if he deserves this particular pleasure from me, and when the answer is no, I stuff a pillow between my legs and go back to sleep. I just don't want to cast down my pearls before swine anymore. And its not because I think God will send me to hell...its just because I finally know what I'm worth, and don't present myself to those who can't see it. It doesn't make me less incredible, it makes them more stupid and blind. And in return, I can clearly see those in my life who means something to me. I recognize the worth of the special people I've met in my life, and honor and glorify them for who they are every chance I get.

I guess that's all I wanted to say.

Anyway, I think I need to go get something to drink.

Stay in the light,
Tula

YEAH, I KNOW I'M BEHIND...

2005-12-13T01:17:00.000-05:00

COMMERCIAL FIRST -- TONIGHT'S BLOG IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY...

www.tulabooks.com

Okay, I got a coupla email complaints that I haven't blogged the last few days. I was actually shocked that anyone noticed, but I sometimes forget I am a writing superstar on the rise...LOL.
So I apolgize to those who have taken the time to read my blogs regularly and who were actually disappointed when they didn't see a new one.

Quick updates first:

My son Noah is over his cold, and went back to school today. He was a poor sick baby over the weekend, extremely congested, feverish, nose running. But he was very much on the mend by Sunday morning, so now I can come out of worried parent mode.
I got tickets on Ebay for the Clay Aiken concert, which is Wednesday, for me and my daughter. She is so excited she is about to jump out of her skin. It's at the Lyric Opera House, and she's estatic about getting all dressed up and going out for the evening. Now I'm not a Clay Aiken fan myself, but it was worth it to see her face light up whenI told her I'd won the bid on the tickets. Thanks to Cliff for giving me the money for the tickets.
I have started on my next book, which is 'Lipstick Volume II'. I've written my first story called "The Mistress", and if I do say so myself, it is HOT!
I went to a little get together at Angie's house...she played Teresa in D & D, and got the entire lowdown on the D & D saga. I've been a bit out of touch with my website and the book coming out and the blog, and all I can say is y'all PLEASE pray for LAMAR HILL, cuz I know I am. To paraphrase one of his poems, "I'll pray for him every day! On my knees!"
Lets see...I think Imma shout out David because his birthday is coming up, and my sister and my daughter's dad, because their birthdays are coming up too. Sagittariuses are insane people!
Oh yeah, shout out to Fred because he gave me some good feedback on my latest story.
Thank you Eddie for sending the sound card and the speakers. It is greatly appreciated.

I've added some new features to the website that I hope y'all will check out. First is the "works in progress". I'm gonna be posting snippets of stories from the new book as I go, so you can check them out there. I have the first bit of "The Mistress" posted there...a very very early draft of the first page or two. I also now have "The Reject File", which is where I'm posting stories that I've written that just didn't quite meet up to my personal publishing standards. They're still amusing, entertaining stories though, and you can see them there. The one posted now is "The Music Just Turns Me On", and its dedicated to Fred, who gave me the idea to post it.

The holidays are quickly approaching. I'll have our tree up by this weekend, and I still haven't gone Christmas shopping yet. I haven't heard from Noah's dad about the money he promised me...I have to make sure I call him tomorrow. I'm hoping he does right by his son this year, but you never know with him.

I have some editing to do, so I'll talk to you all tomorrow!

Stay in the light,

Tula

SNOW AND BOOK REVIEWS

2005-12-09T17:42:00.000-05:00

It snowed here in Baltimore last night. Technically I mean.

Snow here in Baltimore is not always what I would consider snow. I mean, I was born in Jersey, and many of my my family and friends all lived in Jersey and further north (New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut) where the snow gets bad. I have a couple of friends who live in Buffallo, NY, and what is considered snow here in Baltimore is a joke to them. But for what its worth, we had snow, and all the schools closed, and everything else opened late.

I haven't blogged the last couple of days because my son Noah has been sick, poor baby. Massive cold with unbelievable congestion...his nose has been running non-stop for the last 48 hours. He's standing next to me now watching me type about him and coughing. Now he's fussing at me...he wants me to stop...he doesn't like me to write about him. So I'll stop here...*smile*...about him anyway.

I'm trying to remember where I last left off with my blog. I have my first review of my book on Romance Divas, you can go to my site at http://www.tulabooks.com and there is a link that will take you to the review. It was pretty good. I can't believe how nerve racking getting reviews is. I'm being reviewed by Romance Times, and by Literary Nymphs, and by RAWSISTAZ Reviews. I know reviews are important, but it still is scary. But so far the one review I've gotten has helped spark an idea for a story that is the current W.I.P. (work in progress) on my site. I want to finish it and start a second one by the end of the year.

I'm going to have to sign off now and tend to my baby. I'll probably do another entry later tonight.

Stay in the light,

Tula

LATE NIGHT DEMENTIA

2005-12-07T01:04:00.000-05:00

What do I wanna say today??

COMMERCIAL FIRST --- This entry sponsored by: http://www.tulabooks.com
NOW, ON WITH THE SHOW!

I think imma do one of those random lists again:

We had a little snow last night. Nothing major (kids still went to school, albeit 2 hours late). We're expecting a little more Friday.
D & D is officially on hiatus. More on that later.
I talked to Eddie this morning. He got issues. 'Nuff said.
I did my first analysis of my stats from my website. I'm doing pretty good. The most impressive stat is that when people come to my site, they are actually hanging around...at least 20 minutes and often over an hour...and many of them come back.
I haven't started any Christmas shopping AT ALL! I'm always the last minute with this stuff. But I am going to pick up a tree Thursday so the house should be decorated by the weekend. Guess I'll pick up some Christmas music too...wonder where I can find "A Jackson 5 Christmas"?
I'm submitting my book for review to Rawsistaz. Hope it works out.
My disks didn't come yet! Had to email Stacey and she's sending out more.
I sent my paperwork to Romantic Times for my ad and my review. Oh I hope they like me, hope they really like me.
TODAY'S SPECIAL SHOUTOUT GOES TO.....HMMMM...MY DAUGHTER JASMINE! JUST CUZ I LOVE YOU BABY!
I talked to Jasmine's dad tonight. Just for future reference...my daughter and son have different dads. He's doing okay...still in the transitional program after leaving jail. He'll be 4o on December 20th...that's my sister's birthday also. I did my good deed for today and told him he could stop by for a little visit on Christmas day if he didn't have any plans. I know that would make my daughter happy.
Ya know, I was also thinking today that I haven't been on a DATE in I-don't-know-how-long. Not even a dinner and a movie kinda thing. That's so sad. And yeah I could always take myself out but I wish that someone would call up and just want my company enough to take me out on a date.
I gotta get back to writing soon. I need to start the next book...Lipstick Volume II!

I think I'll be more talkative tomorrow....

Stay in the light,

Tula da Rula

PS -- One of my readers suggested that I do blog entries based on their suggestions. I thought that was a good idea. So...if there is a topic you'd like me to blog about, submit it to me at tulabooks@yahoo.com . I'll see what I can do!

THE SURREAL LIFE...MINE!

2005-12-05T23:26:00.000-05:00

Hello friends, fans, and foes:

COMMERCIALS FIRST! THIS PROGRAM IS SPONSORED BY -- http://www.tulabooks.com !

And now, on with the show!

Tonight's entry is about...well, I guess its about a lot of things. But its primarily about me being a writer.

I had my second chat tonight with readers. Chats are a lot of fun. I forget sometimes how charming I can be...LOL. I gave away a few copies of the book and had a few email conversations with the people that won the books.

Not don't get me wrong...I believe I am a good writer. I do. I have a great deal of confidence in my abilities. But its still WEIRD to me to have people admire my ability. I mean strangers. I posted my URL for my website during the chat, and I got quite a bit of feedback from the people I had been chatting with. A couple of them were really well-versed in my writing...I mean they were intimately familiar with it like it was some piece of great literature. They enjoyed it, thought it was good, some even identified with the people and the situations. They talked to me like...like...like I was some kind of...authority...like I was a...writer they admired. It was so strange, and not because I don't think much of my writing, because I am arrogant as hell when it comes to my talent in that area. But to just experience their...admiration...was amazing to me.

My funniest and most humbling convo was with the lady I'll call the "Head of the Three Old Lady Book Club". She and 3 other 'old ladies', who range in age from mid fifties to mid eighties read books and then donate them to a local nursing home! And now they're reading MINE. She's been on my site reading my stuff and acutally went to the trouble to make sure she won a copy of my book! I'm trying to imagine my book at some nursing home in the midwest being read by some poor person with a heart conditon and causing them to have some kind of coronary episode...LOL. But this lady seemed so sweet, her emails really touched me. So shout out to LB from IL...thanks for the support!

My next live chat is on Wednesday at 9 PM EST on Literary Nymphs. You can go to http://www.tulabooks.com/CHAT_INFO_PAGE.htm and get the link to the chatroom. I wonder what that will be like.

I submitted the ARC (advance review copy) of my book to one of the reviewers at "Romantic Times" today. "Romantic Times Magazine" ("RT Mag") is the premier trade/consumer magazine for readers and writers of all types of romance/relationship literature (or chick lit, as some call it), including erotica. A good review from them could do soooo much for my book in terms of sales and promotion. RT has a convention every year that is very well attended by its readers, and I am going this year (its in Daytona Beach in May...another reason to go!). If I can get a good review, or be a "hot pick" or get any kind of special recogniztion from them, I could sell so many books just on the strength of that alone! So I'm a bit nervous about what the review will be like. Nah, I'm VERY NERVOUS!!! RT Mag is doing a feature in March on erotic works, and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to be one of the authors they highlight or spotlight or mention in some kind of special positive light! Like I said, I do have faith in my skill, but its times like this that I worry.

At any rate, life goes on and its getting late. I've sent out all the prizes from tonight's chat, and I've even hung some Christmas decorations on the front door of my website. I need to go return some phone calls and do some writing.

Oh yeah..check out the WIP (work in progress) I have on the site at http://www.tulabooks.com/W_I_P_KICKING_IT.htm .

http://www.tulabooks.com CHECK IN WITH ME EVERY DAY!

Stay in the light,
Tula

EBAY, SEX WITHOUT LOVE, AND WRITING SEX SCENES

2005-12-04T01:28:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all....

It's gonna be one of those posts that is just all over the place again, so buckle up and hold on tight!

I made my first purchase on Ebay today. Yup, I won the first bid I ever attempted. I did get a bit of coaching from Eddie about how to proceed, but I have to credit myself with the extensive research, testing and exquisite timing that allowed me to win the item I was bidding on. I hear I am what is called a "sniper" in the Ebay world. I can kind of see why people get addicted to this thing, it does sort of give you a rush! I was actually trembling during the last few seconds of the bid I was on. But what matters is that I won the item (which was something for my daughter that she has been wanting for 2 years), and now I know how to use Ebay.

I called my friend Eddie to thank him for his help and to tell him I won the bid and we talked a bit. He talked about now as he is getting older he really wishes that he had a female companion at least in his life, if not a wife. He talked about wanting to have someone around to talk to, for company, for sex, etc. But tonight he'd settle for one of these and I'll leave you to guess which one. This is going to sound strange to anyone who knows me well, but I really haven't had the desire for sex in a while, and I finally figured out why tonight. As crazy as it sounds, at this point in my life, I wanna be in love.

I don't want to just...just....well I don't wanna say it like that 'cuz on many I night I have 'just' and it was all good...LOL. This is just where my head is at right now. I want the kind of intensity that comes from a head connection, a heart connection, and a sex connection all at the same time. Its been a while since I've had that. My most recent lover, well, lets just say he doesn't feel a whole lot for me emotionally, and while there was a time that I didn't mind that and the sex was still satisfying to me, the last time we were together it wasn't, and I knew that was why. I didn't say anything because there wasn't any point. It wasn't his fault...he did the things he normally did. But for the first time in a long time I was painfully aware that I was doing intimate things with someone I wasn't sure I even liked, and wasn't sure if he even liked me. That's not cool at all. So that was it for me, and that was a WHILE ago. I don't take personallyanymore the fact that he doesn't feel much for me. He's one of those people that just doesn't feel a lot, period. And he's proud of it too. Sometimes I actually feel sorry for him. He seems to have no grand passions in life, I've never seen him extremely happy or unhappy or angry or anything. Our sex together in the past has probably been the closest thing I have ever seen to him expressing any strong desires or passions...but I am aware that is just appearances.

One of my readers emailed me and asked how to write a sex scene. She said that the sex scenes in my book seem so...authentic was the word she used, she wanted to know how I did that? I told her that I wrote about sex the way I wrote about anything else. I didn't do anything differently because of the subject matter. I think about the tone of the voice of the character who's POV is describing the scene most importantly. I try to make sure the way in which they are experiencing the intimate acts is in keeping with who they are. I think the mistake most writers make in writing sex scenes is that they allow the sex part of it to overtake everything, and suddenly all the characteristics that made the reader interested in that characteer disappear. It is important to always allow you characters to be who they are, even in their intimate moments.

I'm trying to plan a trip to NY after the first of the year. I have like 6 people to visit up there, and need to take care of some business related to the bok. I also have received my first request for an interview...it was from LIterary Nymphs, which is a literary review site that also reviews erotica. I can't wait to do it...this should be fun!

I think imma turn in now. Its late, and I need to get up tomorrow and practice for Zane's bookstore tomorrow nite!

Stay in the light,
Tula da Rula

Shout out to Marcus, who ACTUALLY spoke to me tonight...I think that may be three times this week! OMG!! ;-D

AAAAHHHH...

2005-12-02T22:24:00.000-05:00

Someone today asked me had I had many lovers. I had to stop to think about that. Have I? Like most things in life it is relative. I mean, I am almost 40, I have been single all my life, and I have been sexually active for a little over 20 years now. Strictly from a numbers perspective, that is certainly enough time to acquire a number of lovers. But I don't feel that I've had many lovers...it has never seemed like too many. So I guess the answer is, "I don't know."

I lost my virginity when I was 18 to my boyfriend of 4 years, who was a year younger and also a virgin. We had actually been "studying up" on this important rite of passage for over 3 years before we did the deed, PLUS we did "everything else but..." for a couple of years before intercourse took place. Over two years of foreplay -- just imagine. Two years of just spending hours kissing, and touching, looking at each other, having oral sex, watching each other's reactions to things and making copious notes. When we finally did actually have sex it was not a huge deal...it was like the natural end to a graceful extended dance. The final dip in a tango, or the final pose in a waltz. It was cool and warm and hot and fiyah all at the same time, and I am pleased and proud to say that I have absolutely no regrets in how it turned out. I credit a lot of my clearheadedness about sexuality to the way in which it was introduced to me...gradually, naturally, slowly, at my own pace and with my total consent by someone I loved dearly who loved me just as much. There was no struggle for power because both of us were inexperienced. It was lovely, and if my daughter should choose to not wait until marriage to become intitmate with someone, I sincerely hope it is just as beautiful an experience for her. This relationship and how it ultimately ended is a short story in my next volume of stories...or what I hope to be my next volume of stories.

I never had many unpleasant sexual experiences. My mother never admonished me to not have sex. That's not to say she encouraged me, but I hear so many mothers warn their daughters about "not giving it up" or "keeping their legs closed" or "not being sluts"...then it becomes confusing to these girls when they find themselves WANTING to 'give it up', and they have to reconcile their own desires to what they are told about sex by their scorned mothers. I managed to escape that confusion. I never had that lover that didn't care about pleasing me, or that man who was oblivious to my needs. I'd say over 90 percent of all my lovers were very attentive to me sexually, if not always in other ways. And this even applied to those with whom I had relationships that were not...extremely serious. In the bedroom, it was ALWAYS serious.

So, back to the original question...have i had many lovers? I suppose to most people's minds I have. Lets say it is a number in the double digits, if we're going to measure it that way. But more importantly it is probably true that I've had many lovers because of the INTENSITITY with which I threw myself into those involvements. I tell every man I deal with that I'm an all or nothing girl. So while I don't sleep with many men, one I decide I am going to, I do so wholeheartedly, with all of my being and all of my pussy and whatever else I decide to throw in there. I know lots of women who have slept with many more men than I have, but never really were present in those relationships or participated fully in them. In that respect I have had a lot of lovers, because i have tried to fully and completely experience every man I have ever slept with.

Wow...I got kinda deep for a minute.

The next question that came up was "am I respectable?" Oh who the hell knows? The concept of respectability is one of the most dangerous things for women that ever existed. You don't know how many women I know who do so many things in the hope that they will be 'respectable'...they go to church not seeking their salvation but the approval of the surrounding community, they involve themselves in their kids lives not because they want to witness their children's achievements but so that others will say "wow, Mrs. Smith is a good mother because she always goes to all her kids soccer games". They get married because they are afraid to continue dating and the promiscuity that single women always risk if they continue to be single for extended periods of time. They want to "settle down" like Shug Avery in"The Color Purple" so when they run into people they can throw up their left hands and say "Ise Married Now"! So many women spend so much time trying to be "respectible" instead of trying to decide who they are and how they can improve on that, even if improving on that means running the risk of not being "respectible".

I am sooo content with my life right now. I write dirty stories and I'm HAPPY! I have my family, my kids that I love dearly. My friends. My writing. My web site. My blog. My extended circle of family that I've met while working on the play this year. My IM buddies and chat room buddies and email buddies. I am unemployed, do freelance writing sporadically and I'm not quite sure where my next dollar is coming from. And I am happy. Does that make any sense? I'm not dating, or romantically involved with anyone, or even sexually involved with anyone, and I'm happy. I AM HAPPY...WITH MY LIFE...WITH MYSELF....and I did it! And if I did it, that means anyone can. And I suggest that you get to it, cuz time ain't forever ya know..

Stay in the light,
Tula da Rula

WRITING ABOUT SEX, NOT HAVING IT...

2005-12-01T21:27:00.000-05:00

BEFORE I BEGIN...

A SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO GEORGE!!!

I have never met George and have no idea who he actually is...BUT he responded to part of my Thanksgiving Day blog about trying to pursue your art when your loved ones aren't supportive or very nice about it. Even though my blog is linked to my website and available, the fact that someone read it is amazing to me. So George...thanks for the love, and buy a book! Log on to www.tulabooks.com (HAD TO DO THE SHAMELESS PLUG, ITS WHO I AM THESE DAYS!)

Now, to the matter and the blog at hand...

Ever since I "officially" became an "erotica" writer, I have stopped most of the activity that inspired me to write in the first place.

I stopped having really great sex.

It was primarily about my attitude towards my partners. I mean, sex and love do have a lot to do with each other, and unfortunately I haven't been in love in a long time. And when I say a long time, I mean years. I want to be in love, I like the idea of it, I like the way it feels and smells and tastes and sounds and looks. But I don't have it in my life.

The last time I was really in love was when I was dating Charles, which was oh...going on 4 years ago now? I loved that boy, I swear I did. I didn't even have sense enough to hide it or be ashamed of it...I was wide open, unabashedly crazy about him. Would have done anything for him, and would have been mad at myself for not predicting his thoughts if he ever had to ask me for anything. I tried the hardest I ever tried with him I think. I really thought he'd be the beginning of my 'happily ever after.' Especially once he started making plans to leave New York and move to Baltimore. But ultimately, it didn't work out. And it HURT more than those four letters can say. I felt miserable, rejected, like a failure and a fool. The fact that I was the one that ended it didn't even make me feel better. had no choice but to end it because I couldn't tolerate how he was treating me. The first time we broke up I was devastated. I have witnesses that will attest to it. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. My heart was broken, shattered. One of my girlfriends had to come down from Pennsylvania and take me away for almost a week, get me drunk, and eventually ended up feeling me up when I insisted I wanted nothing more to do with men and wanted to be a lesbian. (For those of you famliar with the book, now you know where one of the stories comes from). But we foolishly reconciled after a few months apart. For a minute it was good. But by this time the trust was shattered, I wasn't really prepared to forgive him, and honestly he really wasn't prepared to put the work into rebuilding the trust. So we parted ways a second time, and it was UGLY! And yeah, I got my revenge and then some, truth be told. I'm not gonna act like the innocent wronged party in this because I work real hard at not being a liar. I did some really HORRIBLE things to him as things fell apart, and even after we split.

That was four years ago. He called me a few months back and we have very very VERY tentatively rebuilding...a kind of friendship I guess. We talk a couple of times a week on the phone, and every now and then on instant messenger. We try not to talk about the past...sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I wish we could work things out, and sometimes I'm glad we broke up. I know that if I would be more...cooperative...he would probably make more of an effort. He's even admitted as much. But at this point in my life, I don't really want to. I feel like he had his chance and now its gone. Not to mention the fact that if some man somehow manages to convice me to get involved with him, there would have to be the potential for marriage. Charles insists he will never remarry...his first marriage was a disaster. So we could never reconcile anyway for that reason alone. And he's in NY and I'm here in MD. I will NOT move to be near him, and as far as I am concerned he owes ME a move anyway from the first time he was gonna leave NY and come live with me.

As I re-read that paragraph that line from one of Shakespeare's plays comes to mind..."Me thinks she doth protest too much."...LOL. Aiight, scratch all I just said. Who knows what the future holds. Certainly not me.

Enough of that serious stuff. I wanna end this entry on a happy note.

The kids are doing well in school. That pleases me to no end. They actually seem to enjoy me being home when they get in from school. Man, going back to a full-time gig (if I ever do) is gonna be rough. This has been the most enjoyable and productive unemployed period in my life! My mom is okay...well, as okay as she can be. Christmas is coming, and I'm trying to pull all my resources together to make it a happy one for the kids. I'm not much into Christmas for myself...the only holiday that matters to me is my BIRTHDAY! I have NO IDEA what I'm going to do for New Year's Eve. I have a pretty full weekend planned...I'm going to the Poetry Awards Saturday night (I hope Archie wins something), and to Zane's bookstore Sunday for their Grand Closing. Dante asked me to get on the mic, so I'll probably read some excerpts from the book and hopefully sell a few copies.

Oh yeah, before I go...did I mention Marcus appeared a few days ago? I've not had anything to say to him since the ridiculous convo we had right before the booksigning. So to hear from him was quite a surprise. He asked about how book sales were going. I should have said "why, you don't actually care", but I didn't. I just said things were going okay. There's no point in getting into it with him. He's going to be the pitiful way he is as long as he wants to be, and isn't gonna stop being that way a minute sooner than he wants to stop. BUT HE BETTA BUY A BOOK DAMMIT! *mental note...IM Marcus about coming to get his book.*

That's it for today people...

Stay in the light,
Tula Da Rula

PS-- If anyone sees Fred (AKA Fredlocks) tell him to call me dammit!

BUILDING MY EMPIRE.... ;-D

2005-12-01T00:44:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all...

It's been a few days since I've blogged, so I'm finally getting caught up on that now. I've been rather busy the last few days, and when friends ask what I've been up to I say, "I've been busy building my empire." Then we both laugh. But actually I think I'm serious when I say it. I think I have decided to build an empire. An erotica empire. Suddenly I think I can do it for some reason. Alone.

I say alone because honestly, I've been the happiest I've been in a long time the past two weeks. Even more that just being happy...I've been content. And I've been productive. I've taught myself a good amount of MicroSoft Front Page and built a pretty good website considering I didn't know how to 2 weeks ago. I've had my first booksigning. I've participated in my first online chat with readers and potential readers. I started my first chatgroup, and actually have 3 members (imagine that)! I've upgraded my website to include some awesome erotic photography...it looks soooo hot and sexy! I've sold copies of my e-book. I've gotten up every morning and sent my kids off to school...leisurely, not rushing and running out behind them to get to work. When they get home I'm here, and I'm not beat down by a hard day at work. I can talk to them, help them with their homework, with their lives. I'm teaching my daughter Front Page so she can put up a website for the comic strip she draws. I have done what I felt like doing...working hard but not minding it. When I go to bed at night I feel I've accomplished something that day, and I look forward to see what the next day will bring. I'm pleased with myself for MAYBE the first time in my life, and the funny thing is that it has nothing to do with a MAN. Nothing at all. And it has nothing to do with SEX either. Amazing. I actually feel like I'm getting somewhere, and can't wait to see where I end up. It is SO WONDERFUL not to be miserable like I had been for so long. Had I known that building an empire could be so satifying, I would have done it years ago.

I'm sending out press kits to various media outlets to see what happens. I've pretty much decided that I'm going to go to the RT convention in Daytona this May. I might as well (if my tax return permists). I can't remember the last time I had a real vacation, so this might be a nice way to mix business and pleasure.

I think that's it for the moment...I'll holla back tomorrow!

Stay in the light,
Tula

SUNDAY...

2005-11-28T00:29:00.000-05:00

Hey now... CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE TO GET INFO ABOUT MY WRITING CONTEST!
www.tulabooks.com

AND KEEP DOWNLOADING THE BOOK AT
http://www.phazebooks.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=75

Where to begin tonight?

I hate my son's father sometimes. I don't even want to delve too much deeper except to say he is one of the most selfish and inconsiderate people I have ever met. Any good qualities he might have are completely obliterated by his self-centered nature. The fact that I at one time thought being with him was a good idea is just a testament to the fact that everyone suffers from temporary insanity at some point in their lives.
I have just launched my first writing contest. I'm thinking about doing it monthly, depending on how successful this first one is.
I talked to Eddie today. He's been trying to decide what to do with his life since I met him over 14 years ago. He was thinking things over, mulling ideas, analyzing. It is 14 years later, and very little has changed about his life from the day I met him. It's sad...he has let his fear of living life paralyze him, and continues to do so. I used to worry about how he would turn out but I've stopped doing that now, because I know there is nothing I can do to help him.

THINGS TO DO TOMORROW

I go back on my promotional grind full throttle tomorrow (Monday). Got stuff to mail out, errands to run, the whole nine yards. I'm trying to utilize the new website as much as I can to create buzz about me and the book.
I gotta make dentist and eye doctor appointments for the kids.
I need to get my hair re-braided. Gotta try to call Debbie again.
I gotta try to get in touch with Fred. He's supposed to be helping me with a project, and I'm supposed to be editing an article for him and covering Archie at the Nuyorican in December for Mic Life. But I haven't been able to reach him, and he didn't come to D & D Friday night. I'll call him at work-hopefully he'll be there. I need to know if I'm going to NYC on the 15th.
I need to get another copy of the DVD of the play from Lamar. I've been in touch with this promoter who does comedy shows in the southern states, and I want to see if he could help us put the play on the road.
I need to print out promotional pics of myself, and copies of my press release, and at the end of the week I need to order copies of the book.
The P4P 3rd Annual Poetry Awards is next Saturday night at Eden's Lounge. I'm definitely going to go. Need to get a new outfit if possible.
I really need to get to Warm Wednesdays to start promoting the book. That means going back on the mic...LOL
AND...I gotta call Shugabear about desiging a T-shirt for me.
I need to print out copies of the cover of the book, and give one to Shugabear.
I also gotta make sure I get down to Fells Point to see Dante on Sunday December 4th for the last Writer's Block. Gotta promote the book, and sell a few copies if I can.
And THAT REMINDS ME....I NEED TO ORDER COPIES OF THE BOOK!

Damn...I'm tired just from making that list...

I'll holla tomorrow...

SPECIAL SHOUT OUTS TODAY TO DEJAZ FROM BSI (hey gurl), TO RAY DOWN IN HOUSTON (control your grown azz son...LOL), TO CHANEL (thanks for the love on the website), AND TO PATRICIA (stay strong my sista).

Stay in the light,

Tula Da Rula

RANDOM MEADERINGS ON A SATURDAY

2005-11-26T17:42:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all...

It is Saturday.

I think about the different meanings Saturday has taken on for me in my lifetime, and it really makes me realize that time in my life is passing.

Of course as a kid, Saturday night was part of the weekend, not attending school experience. You got to stay up late, talk on the phone, etc. Sometimes you went out with friends or your family. It was the one full day you had without having to really think about school. Even Sundays couldn't compare to Saturdays because at some point on Sunday evenings you had to start preparing for Monday.

As a young adult, Saturday was party night! You spent all day in the malls and on the phone with friends, planning outfits, outlining strategy about how you would handle things if your boyfriend happened to call while you were out. You speculated on what club he might be hanging at on a Saturday night so you would go someplace else. Back in the day here in Baltimore the spots I hung out were primarily Odell's and Fantasy because they played HOUSE MUSIC!! :-D
For those not familiar with house (and I pity you if you aren't), I'll get into that another day.

Now Saturday nights might mean hanging out with whoever I'm dating at the time. They mean spending time with my kids, or helping them with their social activities. It means going to the supermarket and Wal-mart. It means writing very very late at night. It means talking on the phone to my friends late at night while I write. Often it means napping. It is only occasionally that it means going out to clubs these days, and if it does, it is totally different. Back in my Odell's days I left my house at around 11 PM to meet up with my girls, and we didn't leave from their houses until after midnight because the clubs stayed open until 5 or 6 am and we were there until they closed, dancing every minute we could. Now I am out of the house at 10 athe latest, and if I'm having a really good time I'm home by 2:30. If its just a so-so evening I may even be home around midnight, which used to be the time I left to go to nightclubs. Ahhhh...the perspective of becoming...older.

Last night's show went very well. Lamar shocked everyone by having a DVD for sale, which none of us had seen yet. Oh well, that's Lamar for ya. I have only watched like the first 15 minutes of it today...I was really sleepy today and napped quite a bit. He told me that the Philly show next month is a definite, so I'm going to have to get details from him so I can get press releases out.

I talked to my friend in Texas today...his name is Ray. Nice guy, but crazy as hell. He's one of my old BSI buddies that I never got around to meeting...he was in the military for years and overseas, and when he was stateside he was in Texas, and I haven't had any reason to go to Texas so we've never met. But we used to talk on the phone all the time. I think I'll make my next blog about BSI...which stands for Black Singles Incorporated (www.blacksingles.com). It is a singles website with a chatroom, which is where I met Ray. I've actually made quite a few friends, male and female, through the room, and at one time I spent hours of my work day chatting in there (when I wasn't writing my book...LOL). But tha's another day and another blog...

I'm going to go enjoy the rest of my evening...my son is spending the night at his dad's house, praise the Lord!

Stay in the LIGHT...

Tula

TODAY'S TOPIC -- DECEPTION AND DENIAL...AND OTHER STUFF

2005-11-25T15:20:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all....

Tonight is the encore performance of 'Deception and Denial' at The Arena Players. Hope some of y'all are coming out. Since the play is tonight I think imma talk a little bit about how the play came to be.

Lamar Hill is a pretty well-noted spoken word artist who lives in Baltimore (originally from Jersey...JERSEY HEADS IN DA HOUSE!). I've watched him perform at different spoken word venues in the area for the last few years on and off. I always thought pretty highly of his work...bought a CD or two that someone always stole from me....if I saw that he was going to perform at a venue, I might make an extra effort to get there, and I can't say that about a lot of poets. He also put out a self-published book called "Freak" a couple of years ago (or something like that), and the play "Deception and Denial" is based loosely on that novel.

Anyway, he wrote the play very early in 2005. While he was writing the play, I was having some issues with Marcus. One night my girlfriend and I decided to go out, and as it happened it was the night of "Last Poets Standing", which was Lamar's personal spoken word/slam night at The 5 Seasons. As fate would have it, it was a bitterly cold night and so there were maybe 10 people in the whole spot, and Lamar was performing with his good friend Talaam Acey (another poet I'll make an extra effort to see if I hear he's in a spot). I was sitting in the middle of the floor, near the front, with a bright red blouse on, looking conspicuous as hell and pretty mad too. So of course, Lamar decided to pick on me..."I don't care what happened to you...if your man didn't come home last night...you need to get that look off your face and have a good time..." yada yada yada. So now I felt worse. But the poetry was good, and at the end of the set Lamar announced that he was having auditions for his play, and also needed help behind the scenes with promotions, sets, etc. My girlfriend said, "maybe you should contact him and help out, it might be something good to get involved in." And since I really do respect Lamar's work, I got his e--mail address, contacted him, we exchanged numbers, and that's how I started working on D & D.

For those who have seen the play and know how good it is, how perfectly cast it is and how good the actors are, let me tell you back in March, it wasn't like that. Love (Michelle Nelson of Torchlight Entertainment) was already helping Lamar and was acting as business manager. She suggested to him the team he'd need to pull together behind the scenes to get things going. Carla Freeman came on originally as set designer, but Lamar quickly recognized all that she could bring to the production (especially stability), and 'promoted' her to assistant director. Rebecca Dupas, who does an incredible job as Lisa, wouldn't curse (and for those who've seen the play, you know how funny that is). And she wouldn't hit Walter Maxfield Jones, who plays Anthony, but now she literally draws blood whenever they have one of their intense scenes together when things get physical. WMJ didn't even COME to the first few rehearsals (but once he got on board, he was fully commited to the play and the part). Chuck Veney, who plays Devin, is a steelworker so the weekends we rehearsed he was often working and getting to rehearsal was difficult. Kionne Agent, Angela Young, and Corey Valentine (who play Michelle, Teresa and Tony respectively) were very nervous. And Phil John (who plays Sharieff) was truly anxious to get himself back out on the acting circuit in the area. Archie the Messenger (ATM--his spoken word narration helps set the play apart from other stage works in the area), was originally Phil's understudy, but when it was clear that Phil was NOT going anywhere and Archie continued to faithfully come to rehearsal, Carla and I talked about ways that we could involve Archie in the production since he was so talented and so devoted. So we came up with the idea of having him take on 'the Greek chorus' role in the play using orginal spoken word poetry that he would write at the beginning, right after intermission is over, and at the end to narrate the play. Lamar loved the idea when we ran it by him, and Archie wrote some INCREDIBLE pieces for the narrative parts. The last poem is my personal favorite...I remember the first time he did it at rehearsal and the entire cast and crew were spellbound, shocked and amazed...ATM spit HOT FIYAH! Ra the Pyramid, who often chilled in the cut in the early days of rehearsal, steppped up his game considerably as we got closer to October. And my life fell completely apart right in the middle of the production...in every way. In fact, I HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT MY INVOLVEMENT WITH THIS PROJECT AND THESE PEOPLE HAS KEPT ME ALIVE. Many a night during the summer when my load was too heavy to carry I wanted to just...just...end it all. But someone from the play would call, or email me, or a rehearsal would come up, or a promotional event or cast/crew activity, and I would turn my energies into that. So, no matter where I go or what I do, I will always be grateful to D & D for helping me get through one of the most difficult times in my life...and I'll always love them and do anything for them because of it. Any success I ever have will be their success as well, and I will do whatever I can to help any one of them, professionally or personally. They are family to me..."D & D....we all we got!" We don't always get along, we get on each other's nerves, but we are always family.

My web site is up and running....PRAISE THE LORD! It looks pretty good if I do say so myself. I'm a web designer now...I'm sooo proud of myself. Check out the finished product at www.tulabooks.com.

Anyway, I think that's it for me for now. I've gotta get down to the theater shortly. I'll be back tomorrow....love ya!

Stay in the light,
Tula Da Rula

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE!

2005-11-24T09:25:00.000-05:00

Hey hey hey...

First, I want to wish EVERYONE a very very HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Hopefully you'll spend at least a bit of it with family and friends, whether it's in person or by telephone.

I have been SLOWLY preparing today's meal the past three days. Once I post this entry I'm going to go tend to my Thanksgiving gumbo and my macaroni and cheese...yummy! I'll also make a bunch of calls, wishing my gang of friends and family a Happy Turkey Day! Shout outs to Patricia, the cast and crew of D & D, Eddie, David, Charles, Calvin, Raymond, Fred, Chanel and her baby-to-be, Angela and Wayne, the ladies of Phaze, my mom, my daughter, my son, my uncle Ditty, my aunt Mary, my sister Marva and her husband Lee, my cousin Charles and his wife Sonia and their kids, all my other extended family in New Jersey and in New York and in Virginia and in Ohio and in North Carolina. Happy Turkey Day to ALL my IM and email family, including Donna, Brian, Eric, Darryl, Yvonne (feel better baby), Toni, and EVERYONE I forgot!

Thanksgiving was a bigger deal in my family years ago. My family from New York (New Rochelle and Mamaroneck areas) would come down to Baltimore to my mom's house. That was a long time ago. In recent years Thanksgiving has been a lot quieter. The last major Thanksgiving meal I sat down to was about 3 years ago in Paterson, New Jersey with my sister and her husband. Me and my mom and my kids drove up. I was dating Charles at the time, who lives in Mt. Vernon, New York, and he joined us for dinner. Me and Charles and the kids went out afterwards. The last couple of years its just been me and my kids and my mom and my uncle Ditty. I then spend the day after Thankgiving visiting my friends, or hanging out, and I usually end up going out someplace. I don't do that black Friday Christmas shopping, I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE! I got better things to do at five a.m. on a day off...like SLEEP!

My website still isn't up and running yet. I've already contacted the host to see what they can do to fix it. The FrontPage Server Extensions aren't activated on the server my files are going to, and my site is in FrontPage, and I'm supposed to be able to publish using http. So I'm waiting for them to clear that up. The site looks pretty good considering this was my first try at web design. Once its up and running I'm going to sign up for every web ring I can find to get traffic to my site.

I haven't heard from Marcus. I can't say that I'm surprised to be honest with ya. It would have been nice, but...lots of nice things that should happen often don't. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I'm not angry, I'm not sad, BUT I'm not happy about it either. At this point its not even about us being involved or being a couple or not being a couple. Its more about him just not being a good, supportive friend to me. I can't believe that when I asked him why he was coming to my booksigning with me he said "because Virginia Beach is nice." In all our conversations about my trip, never once did he say he was going because he wanted my company, or that he was going with me to be supportive of me and my writing endeavors, NOTHING! I know he doesn't exactly approve of me writing erotica. He's one of these pseudo intellectuals and if its not Ernest Hemmingway or Tolstoy or something weighty like that he's not going to think much of it. If I ever become an alcoholic maybe I'll writing something that meets his standards. But anyway, like I said, he's not been very supportive of me writing erotica, or getting published, EVEN THOUGH the first story in "Lipstick" is dedicated to him. Oh well, it's cool. At this point, it is about him not being a supportive friend. I can't allow that in my life right now...there are too many things I'm trying to do for the first time that I'm nervous about, and frightened of, and I need someone who will be encouraging and helpful. Since he isn't, he can't be around right now.

I have another friend who has the same problem. The people closest to this person are SO unsupportive of the artistic endeavors this person is trying to pursue. And it really affects this person's output. Its so hard to try to make a living as any kind of artist, and its really hurtful when the people closest to you make disparaging remarks. When I was discussing with Marcus desiging my website, and my concern that it would look amateurish if I did it myself he said "well I wouldn't worry about it, its not like you're gonna get an azz load of hits." See what I mean?

Well, I need to get to my gumbo. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Stay in the light,
Tula da Rula
www.phaze.com to buy the book "Lipstick and Other Stories"!
www.tulabooks.com -- Look for my website to be up and running in the next day or two. Check out the pictures of me (ain't I cute)?

FINALLY GOT ENOUGH ENERGY TO TALK!

2005-11-22T20:27:00.000-05:00

S'up?

I've been neglecting my blog cuz I've been working on my website all day, trying to get a hang of Microsoft FrontPage (www.tulabooks.com). It actually has gone better than I expected it to once I got over my fear and got into it. I'm hoping I can pay for my domain and get the host tomorrow and maybe by Thursday it will actually be up and running!

Now, to what you all wanna know about...my booksigning over the weekend. It was very nice. It was good to meet Stacey and all the other authors. Considering what they all write, they all appear relatively normal. I sat next to Jayelle Drewry (www.jayelledrewry.com), who's an absolutely sweet woman who writes vampire erotica. She also is a middle school teacher who had never EVER been in a sex shop in her life. The weekend presented a lot of firsts for her. She was amazed to see the WIDE variety of condoms, asking in her sweet Southern drawl "why do they need so many kinds? Don't they all do the same thing?" After we all laughed, I went on to explain that while they all ultimately did the same thing, some were colored, some were flavored, some glowed in the dark, some were for...the larger male organ, etc. In fact I would say I demonstrated a little too much knowledge about condoms, but lets keep it real, I'm a single woman dating in the age of AIDS, so I need to know all there is to know about condoms. She decided to buy a glow in the dark condom to amuse her husband, she had some kind of Darth Vader scenario in mind with his penis as a light saber. Ha ha...use the force Luke.

I also got to meet Robin Slick (www.robinslick.com), who was the person I was actually most anxious to meet. I really liked her book "Three Days In New York", and she just struck me as a cool person. And she was. All of the ladies were very cool, and best of all, they all had chocolate.

I didn't get to Virginia until Saturday, so I missed the events of Friday night, which consisted of the ladies of Phaze attending a dom/sub (dominants and submissives) organization meeting (T.I.E.D.) Now truth be told, I was NOT there, BUT thanks to the powerful descriptive powers of my partners in erotica and accompanying photographs, I feel like I was. The woman, the dom in question, and her slave, the sub, had a DUNGEON in her house...a fully stocked one with whips, chains, various instruments of torture, etc. (I'll post pics as soon as I get them I promise.)
The sub wears a leather choker around his neck to indicate his status. The couple did come to The Pink Banana on Saturday while we were there. They were both in their fifties, a rather ordinary looking couple that were very affectionate with each other and very open about...everything. When the subject of tattoos came up, the woman very calmly, with absolutely no ceremony, lifted her skirt to show us the two hearts, one on each upper outer thigh. You gotta admire someone bold enough to do that...no matter what. They came to dinner with us after the signing at Senor Iguana's, and as open minded as I thought I was, I really had to re-arrange some stuff in my head when I met this woman. But she was extremely nice and very well-traveled (she'd been a missionary). She just happened to be a dom with a slave (and as a black woman you can imagine it took me a few minutes to process THAT!)

*AND YEAH, I AM LEAVING OUT STUFF THAT I JUST CAN'T DIVULGE...*

It was good to see my cousin...he moved down to Chesapeake, Virginia about three years ago and he and his wife built a house there. He's been trying to get me down there to see it for the longest, and he was SO glad to see me...I was actually touched. He kept saying over and over "I'm soooo glad to see you cuz." I really didn't want to leave Sunday, it was so nice and peaceful with no kids around and someone just cooking you food and taking care of you. His two kids are sweethearts who took to me pretty quickly, and once they did they followed me all over the house. Everywhere I went there they were, asking me questions, holding books in their hands asking me to read to them, fighting over who got to sit next to me when we went out. It was cute though. I have to hand it to cuz, he's done good for himself. I ain't mad at him at all...he seems to be reasonably content with his family, his home, and all that stuff. When we went out Sunday he was on a total campaign to get me to move down there, showing me the houses in the neighborhood that were on sale, the schools, the community college near the house where I could get a job, etc. I didn't even realize what he was doing until later in the day when we were eating at IHOP, then I said "you're trying to get me to move down here!" And he laughed.

Anyway, the encore performance of "Deception and Denial" is this Friday, November 25th at The Arena Players. Thanksgiving is in two days, and I've already done shopping for the meal. I'll make the Thanksgiving gumbo tomorrow (a new tradition I've started that I think I'm gonna keep.) Fred is supposed to bring copies of Mic Life down, and that reminds me, I have to call him. I'm supposed to be working on an article for him and he hasn't sent it to me yet.

I think that's all I have to say for now. Gotta get back to website design. I'll holla...

Tula

2005-11-21T00:02:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all...

As much as I would LOVE to go into intense and PAINFULLY ACCURATE detail about the events that took place before, during, and after my booksigning in Virginia Beach, my absolute exhaustion will NOT allow it. But I do have every intention of correcting that sometime tomorrow in this very spot.

OH YEAH...THE LINK TO BUY MY E-BOOK IS...
http://www.phazebooks.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=75

The download is only $4, and well worth it!

First, shout out to my new best friends Robin, Jayelle (or whatever you name is today), Stacey, Crystal, etc., etc., etc., (I'm just too tired to name everyone now.) Shout out to The Pink Banana Boutique and the AWESOME staff there (www.thepinkbanana.com). Shout out to Senor Iguana's and the chef who made my delicious shrimp chimachunga. Thanks to my cousin Charles and his wife Sonia for letting me crash at their beautiful home in Chesapeake. And most importantly, thanks to EVERYONE that brought my e-book...please tell your friends about it!

Like I said, too tired to get into it now...all the stories about the doms and the subs and the dungeon in the basement and the whips and the chains and the harnesses, etc. About the laws in the Commonwealth of Virginia regulating the sale of adult toys, devices, and so on. About glow in the dark condoms, XXL condoms, XXXL condoms, blow up dolls and body butter. But as soon as I eat and get a good night's sleep, I'll tell ya all about it!

Nite nite...talk to you tomorrow!

Tula

BUY THE BOOK!
http://www.phazebooks.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=75

WEDNESDAYS IN MY WORLD

2005-11-16T11:37:00.000-05:00

S'up?

Generally Wednesdays mean two things for me. First and foremost, WARM WEDNESDAYS (www.warmwednesdays.com). Its an open mic held at The 5 Seasons in Baltimore. Mostly spoken word poetry, but we get a few singers from time to time. Its hosted by two friends of mine who are in the play Deception and Denial, Walter Maxfield Jones (who stars in the play as Anthony Steele), and Rebecca Dupas (who plays his girlfriend Lisa). WMJ, or "Walt Jones" as we call him, is a complete FOOL, he's so funny it hurts, and Rebecca is a funky, classy young lady with one of the most beautiful speaking voices I have EVER heard. She's got a spoken word poetry CD called "The Introduction", you can get it at www.poetology.com i believe. Its an incredible work.

At Warm Wednesdays, you sign "the list" and go onstage and do your thing. There's usually a feature performer, an established poet like Lamar or E The Poet MC or Talaam Acey or Love or Archie the Messenger. The cast and crew of D & D gets on the mic from time to time, and all of them are fairly decent poets. This includes yours truly, who tends to do her "soft porn" poetry onstage. The spot gets a good crowd, sometimes as many as 250 people. There's an afterparty to wrap things up. DJ Li'l Mic is excellent, and you may see me there!

Sometimes I think I live at The 5 Seasons, especially this past summer when we were working on the play. Between rehearsals on Saturdays and Sundays and being there on Warm Wednesdays to promote the play AND being there just to hang out with my D & D family, I feel really at home there. If you're ever in Baltimore I HIGHLY recommend checking out Warm Wednesdays, every Wednesday night. The doors open at 8 pm, its free for ladies before 8:30, $5 after that, they usually have drink specials. The show starts around 9-ish and goes until around midnight, then the afterparty until 2 a.m. Sign the list and get up on the mic and express yourself.

The other thing Wednesdays are for is hanging at Eden's Lounge for Happy Hour. This is a new thing. I went there with Fred my wonder twin last week and we had a good time. Its another nice spot for just chilling. I met some folks, he talked to some folks, we socialized, drank, ate, drank, socialized, drank, etc. A young lady there was reading his magazine (Mic Life Magazine; www.miclifemagazine.com )and I thought he would burst, he was so pleased and proud. When I talked to him this morning he was having a bit of writer's block with one of his feature articles, so the latest issue of the magazine isn't out yet. We worked on the piece a bit this morning over the phone, and we'll work on it a little later today. I want the latest issue OUT soon! I can't wait to see my new "official" billing as "marketing consultant" and "staff writer". We're supposed to hook up tonight to plan this party we want to have next month. He better have my Mic Life shirts and my house music CDs! Patricia is supposed to meet me there also...she needs a drink poor girl. She's going through so much right now.

My booksigning is in 3 days...I'm so excited. My editor LaTanya is going to go down to Virginia with me...this should be fun. I've got my promotional items ready...its gonna be great!

That's it for me for now. Stay in the light,
Tula da Rula

IT OFFICIALLY BEGINS TODAY!

2005-11-15T09:48:00.000-05:00

Okay. With the website being up now (www.tulabooks.com) , I really gotta start blogging for real. So lets do it. Hopefully you can keep up.

The book "Lipstick and Other Stories" will be available as an e-book next week through my publisher Phaze (www.phaze.com) . I am going on my first booksigning tour on this Saturday November 19th. I'll be in Virginia Beach with some other authors from my publisher Phaze, and my editor. I'm excited of course, but nervous too. You know how you always want to do something, and you work reallly hard at it, and once you start to accomplish it you get scared? That's where I am I think. It really makes me kinda mad to think I'm one of those people who's afraid of success, but that may actually be the case. If I am, I guess I'd better get over it. It's just weird to tell people you're a writer and stuff and they look at you like you're special or something and you're looking back at them thinking, "you have no idea how messed up I really am, and if you did you wouldn't be looking at me like that".

I had my first photo shoot about a week and a half ago. I took pictures for the back cover of my book, for the website, and for promotional purposes. My good friend Fred referred me to this AWESOME photographer named LaKaye (www.soulsticecity.com) who has made me look soooo good in my pictures it scares me. She's a great photographer, and a cool person. We're going to go to NYC to do a piece for Fred's magazine called Mic Life Magazine (www.miclifemagazine.com) on Archie The Messenger (ATM), a very talented spoken word poet in the area who is slamming in the finals at The Nuyorican Cafe -- I'm writing and she's taking pictures. Fred was kind enough to give me an ad in Mic Life too.

The encore performance of "Deception and Denial" (www.deceptionanddenial.com) is next Friday November 25th, the day after Thanksgiving. We're all really looking forward to it. The cast has rehearsal this Saturday at The 5 Seasons, but I won't be there because I'll be in Virginia. There is also rehearsal next Wednesday the 23rd at The Arena Players. I'm sure its going to go well. Dante Feenix from Zane's Endeavors Bookstore in Fells Point is going to be a vendor there, and Fred is going to set up his Mic Life table too. It should be fun.

On some more positive notes, after a great deal of letter writing and phone calling I managed to get my daugther into a decent school. She's very happy where she is now, which gives me less to worry about during the day. My son is doing pretty well. Right now life is pretty good, even though I STILL don't have a CAR!

More tomorrow...

Tula da Rula...

WELCOME TO MY WORLD!

2005-08-19T13:03:00.000-05:00

Where to begin?

At the beginning dummy. Who the hell are you and why are you here?

Aiight, I can do that. I'm Petula Caesar. Everyone calls me Tula. I will be 39 years old on next Wednesday, August 24th. Not really sure how I feel about that. I'm glad to be alive of course, and I have my health...but I find those are the things people say when your life is really messed up...LOL. The fact that I don't look 39 helps I guess, but the fact still remains that I am knocking on 40s door.

I have been writing all my life and just managed to get my first book published by Phaze Publishing... www.phaze.com . It is called "Lipstick and Other Stories", and its a collection of erotic short stories I have been writing for the past 4 years. I never had any intention of publishing them at first. They were just for my personal needs, and over time, I showed them to a few close friends. Well one thing led to another, and the next thing I know I'm getting my acceptance e-mail and sending off the signed contract. The book won't be out until mid-fall, so I'm still feeling like nothing really has happened yet. But I suspect that's about to change.

In the meantime, my life in a word, sucks. I lost my job in December, and had been doing temporary work the past 6 months. That dried up, I got behind on the bills, and I was forced to move back in with my mom, my two kids in tow. To make matters worse, the engine in my minivan went up on me a month and a half ago. Took it to the mechanic who so totally and royally screwed me I don't have the strength to go into the details...lets just say the estimate I got and the bill they handed me don't resemble each other at all. The most important detail is that they placed a mechanic's lien on the minvan, and I don't have the money to pay for the repair so no I have no car either. So now I'm unemployed, living with my mother, with my 2 kids and no car. Did I also mention my mom lives in a lousy neighborhood, so now my kids may be forced to attend school with known felons and future lifetime convicts? The only two good things that have happened to me have been the book, and the play I'm working on. I'm the promotions manager for a local theater company called hilltop productions, and we're working on our first play, which is coming out in October. It is called Deception and Denial ( www.deceptionanddenial.com ), and it's really good. I've managed to get some local media attention for it, and we're trying to plan for a regional tour. So I'm promoting both my book and the play at the same time.

I don't think I'll be blogging again until I have more positive things to say. I'll be back!